Past Gracious Gracie Posts

Perfectionism & People Pleasing.



I am really going to put my heart out there and bare my soul on this one. So, bare with me.
Oh my Gosh, what if we wake up some day, and we are 18, or 25….or 70 and we haven’t done things that our heart yearns to do because we spend all of our time comparing ourselves to others and feeling that we aren’t enough? I stumbled upon this photo earlier this morning and it really struck me. It literally screamed in my face. I am not sure if it struck me so deeply due to the fact that it is the week following the end of the holiday season and I, myself, am feeling a bit “jiggly”… but, for whatever reason, it struck me and when things strike me I want to share them with others, for the hopes that they will too, strike you.

Let’s be honest– as humans, all of us  have “things” about ourselves that we don’t necessarily love. We have body parts that are a little too “jiggly”, a little too “large”, a little too “this” and a little too “that.” We look at images of other people and we say to ourselves “if only I looked like her”, “if only I had that”  “if only my body looked like that” then I could be happy. (I am willing to bet you that all of those people in those “inspo” photos that you have saved for “motivation” would tell you that they too aren’t 100% pleased and comfortable with who they are and what they look like). The sad truth is this: happiness is totally and completely up to us- it has really nothing to do with our relationships, our weight, or how perfect we make ourselves appear on the outside..but, we as people fall into this trap of thinking that those are the things that make us “happy.” I hate to break it to you, but, it is none of those things-our happiness is up to us, and that in and of itself is the most comforting & terrifying realization to make in this lifetime. This means that we can’t blame anybody but ourselves for exactly what it is that we are feeling.

As a woman, I have days that I wake up and I feel that the ground shakes when I walk- I have days when I wake up and I feel light as a feather. I am not only talking weight, I am talking more than that- my internal state, my peace with myself, etc. I have days that I don’t want to leave the house because my skin has decided to surprise me with a colony of pimples somewhere on this face of mine. I have days when I feel like the whole world is judging me and the decisions that I have made and I have days that the stars just perfectly align and the world opens up– & this is life. If I told you that I didn’t mind the few holiday pounds that I put on, I would be lying, and I am not here to lie to anybody– especially those that take the time to read this little blog of mine when there are gazillions of other things that you could be doing (thank you). BUT– if I told you that today I sat around on the couch eating a bag of potato chips and feeling sorry for myself I would be lying too (I got my butt up, got dressed and took myself to the gym). But, truth is, I enjoyed every single one of those “seconds” of desserts, those “cheers” that were made to celebrate the end of one chapter and the beginning of another, those 11pm ice cream trips to the beach (thanks R- sorry that I almost got our car towed), and the days I spent off from the gym  and “on” with my family and friends. I think that we all need to make a resolution to be a little more patient and loving with ourselves. I try to remind myself every day that I am “coming home to myself”– I am still learning me, I am still becoming me..and I am so okay with that.

It doesn’t help that our world is so social media focused. It doesn’t help that we may be working really hard in the gym and feeling really great about the progress that we have made–that is, until we scroll and see some random stranger with a six pack flat tummy and toned, round, “place a cup on that” ass–& all the sudden all of our progress is out the window and we are yet again on that chase of perfection. It doesn’t help that we may be so happy that our significant other brought home flowers (or carryout– do you) but then we see that so and so just bought so and so a 10ct diamond ring, a Bentley and a puppy… It is so hard in today’s world to truly love and accept ourselves when the ideals of perfectionism are plastered everywhere that we look. R calls me “beautiful” as if it were my name…yet, there are still days when I wonder how I appear to him and if “he is just being sweet.”

People, we have GOT TO STOP THIS. We are literally missing out on so many amazing, hidden treasures of life because we are too damn concerned with how we look, if we are perfect, if people like us, if we are skinny enough, if we are this enough and that enough. I don’t know about you, but on the days that I just decide that I don’t give a flying fuck I really enjoy myself and my life so much more. So, for this girl, I am really focusing on having more of those days. I don’t see admitting our struggles and trials as weakness- I think that it is one of the strongest things that we can do as people. I wish that we (especially as women) would encourage one another more often. I wish that we  would stop being intimidated and jealous of the success and happiness of others. I really wish that we would spend more time looking in the mirror and thinking to ourselves “damn, I look good.”  I really wish that we would go swimming in warm pools and salty oceans buck freaking NAKED and completely unafraid of our jiggly parts…so, for me, that is exactly what I am going to do.

cheers to the jiggly & not so beautiful parts-for they make us who we are,
xo. gracie

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  • Reply Venice February 2, 2015 at 7:06 pm

    This was a pleasure to read! Thank you for sharing this!

    • Reply graciousgracie February 6, 2015 at 1:58 am

      Thank you so much for reading! I am so happy that you enjoyed it!

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